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Lone Gunmen fic: Trusted Hand

(Yes, I know, Tin Man people - calm yourselves. I'm working on it!)

Trusted Hand
by Surreal
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Langly/Byers, established relationship


~~~~~

The first time he let me do this, my hands were shaking so bad we gave up. He laughed at my nervousness and I let him think it was inexperience that made me humiliate myself in front of him.

The second time was more successful. Well, sort of. In that, it happened in the normal way it's supposed to. This was around the same time Mulder was having us do some research for him, on that Paperclip operation. It's a good thing we like to keep the lair dark, because if Mulder had been able to see John's face more clearly, he would have fallen over himself laughing.

That was the first and only time any of us had seen John clean-shaven, and it was because of me.

I couldn't believe how young he'd looked those few days while it slowly grew back. He wasn't pissed at me for it, he knew what he was getting into when he handed me the razor.

Now, years later and much more practiced, I am still in awe of the trust he places in me every time. I know this small gesture seems insignificant on the surface, but considering where our lives have taken us and the betrayals we have suffered from those we had previously thought of as invulnerable, this faith he has that I won't cut his throat tells me how deep our connection has become.

He stands in front of the mirror after his shower, using the damp corner of his towel to clear the fog from his reflection. He gives my image in the mirror that steady, unwavering look as I watch him from behind, resting my chin on his damp, naked shoulder.

My hand curls around his trim waist, giving him a one-armed squeeze before I lay it palm-up on the counter next to the sink. He looks down as he squirts some shaving cream into my hand. His head tilts slightly toward me as if in deep thought over this small task. My lips brush against his ear accidently on purpose.

Fingers brush over the edge of my palm lightly. I take an impossible step closer, molding my body to his shape and raise my hand to his face, smoothing the foam over his jaw and throat with great care. He tilts his head to follow my movements. Unable to resist, I press a tiny splotch of the cream on the tip of his nose and smirk at his indignant grunt.

No longer did the prospect of handing the straight razor make me nervous. I no longer feared that I would slip. Years of grooming one another has led us to an intimacy far greater than I ever imagined I would have with another person. While this in itself is a wondrous and breathtaking thing, it's the very core of this action that defines it.

Trust.

John Byers trusts me, with his life and his heart. From that first time he granted me permission to touch him, to allow me to break down his rigid barriers and shatter him past the point of vulnerability, I knew how much responsibility he was giving me. It was a daunting prospect and one I undertook with both trepidation and determination.

The razor scraped along his sensitive skin in confident, sure strokes, cleaning up the edges and fine lines of his beard. It only took a few minutes but the feel of him in my arms, under my hand, will stay with me all day.

Until we both survive the day and found our way back to one another in the end. When we crawled under the covers and wove our bodies together, safe and solid and warm. When he once again trusted me with his body, with his heart and soul, to put him back together after I carefully took him apart.

His trust in me would never go unnoticed or unappreciated. And I know he understood exactly how much it cost me to put the same trust in him.

~*~

End

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Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
kseda
Jun. 16th, 2009 08:14 pm (UTC)
ACTUALLY? That was really pretty. Like a lot. So YAY!
surranndie
Jun. 16th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
Hehheeh! *dances you* Thanks, sweetie! LGM was always a darker, more "deep" fandom for me - the feel of X-Files kinda fed into the feel of writing fanfic. Though there was plenty of porn and funtimes to go around as well...*grin*
pennies_4_eyes
Jun. 16th, 2009 08:16 pm (UTC)
This worked! It really really worked! And I didn't know how it would. I read it cause it was something written by you...it's not my fandom at all. But you made this work for me.

You are da shit!!!
surranndie
Jun. 16th, 2009 08:21 pm (UTC)
D'awwwww! *SNUGS* Thank you, that means a lot! I'm so thrilled to hear you read this just 'cause it was me! *giggles* LGM was my first fandom and most prolific before Tin Man came along. So yay for finishing reaaaaaaally old WIPs! :D

*clings and grin!*
(Deleted comment)
surranndie
Jun. 17th, 2009 04:19 am (UTC)
*snuggles you* BOYS. Gotta love them, even after all this time. We should start a challenge to the LGM writers to finish all those WIPs sitting around. *eyes own folder* You wouldn't believe the crazy things in there...I still have that round robin we were doing!
(Deleted comment)
leftover_hobbit
Jun. 19th, 2009 07:52 pm (UTC)
Okay I read it. But Langly/Byers is ANYTHING but an established relationship!!! ;)
surranndie
Jun. 19th, 2009 10:27 pm (UTC)
:P Only to you - 'cause you weren't around for the years that I was writing them, all the first-time stories. But considering they met in '89 and the XF time line is a few years after that, there is plenty of time for them to have hooked up. So ~plllbbbb~.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )